Sad Love
After returning to the hotel room, Eun Tak washed her face angrily as if to clean the man out of her mind. What kind of stupid man believed that catching a falling a leaf will make you fall in love? But why in the world was she so angry? She was trying to remember lost memories from the past, but her present memory was messing up her mind.
She looked outside the hotel window to see a beautiful garden. The garden outside her window was as beautiful as the man standing inside the-
Eun Tak stared at the man sitting on the garden bench. She wasn’t even surprised anymore. After putting on a coat, she headed outside to him.
“Why are you here? Do you stay at this hotel too?”
The Goblin looked at Eun Tak, not even surprised at the sudden appearance, and answered calmly that he was staying at this hotel.
“I’m just curious, but have we met before? Around… 10 years ago?”
He could still hear 19-year-old Eun Tak’s voice calling him brightly, it made his heart drop.
The man’s painful stare made Eun Tak flinch back.
“I’m not trying to hit on you or anything. I just got this weird feeling-”
“Do you like me?”
“No, really. I’m not trying to hit on you- Yes, I do.”
The man just stared at her, and so Eun Tak tried to explain reasonably in unreasonable ways.
“I do like you, and just so you know, I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t think I have any luck for men in this life. I know it’s too much information, but I just wanted you to know. Have a nice walk.”
Eun Tak took a step backwards, but the man just kept staring at her. She had just confessed to him, but there was still no reaction.
The Goblin couldn’t say anything. Even after losing her memory and mark, Eun Tak told him that she liked him. Straight away, he couldn’t help but wonder again whether this fate was a reward or punishment, and straight away, his heart fluttered. He saw Eun Tak slowly walk away from, so he stopped her.
*
They had come to a restaurant together. Eun Tak, who had sat down on the table first, was talking on the phone with someone. It was a moment he had seen before, and it was a moment he had played over and over again in his head. Her short hair, her white neck, her blushed cheeks, and now she was going to lift her hand to call him over.
“Over here, sir.”
The future he had seen was right after all. She had met the ‘sir’ guy in the end. The smile on his face was stuck and wouldn’t move.
Eun Tak was searching through the menu, and the Goblin was looking at her, smiling. He was trying hard to not smile as brightly as he wanted to. He hadn’t even thought of the vision for a long time because he had never heard her call anyone ‘sir’. Well he was the lead representative of the biggest company in Korea. He did deserve to be a ‘sir’. The Goblin could hear Eun Tak muttering under her breath,
“He bought that girl some expensive food.”
“It was all for nothing, as she doesn’t remember anything.”
“... Did you meet her after breaking up?”
“Yes.”
Eun Tak looked at the Goblin with the most irritated expression, and turned her face in another direction.
“Apparently first loves are beautified in a way the person wants it to be. That’s why people are disappointed when they see their first loves again.”
“I wasn’t disappointed. She is still as pretty as ever.”
Eun Tak loudly called the waiter, trying to drown out the man’s voice, and the Goblin bit his lip, trying not to laugh.
“What about someone who has just become pretty? Because I’ve just become pretty recently. Well, that’s just my opinion.”
He was happy. The last 15 minutes were the happiest moments of his life. Eun Tak was pretty at 19, as she was when she was at 29.
“Should we meet again tomorrow?”
“My flight is tomorrow in the afternoon.”
“We can meet before the flight. And after the flight too.”
Eun Tak smiled and nodded. She couldn’t wait.
*
She flicked through the pamphlet, looking for a nice place to have a date on the last day of Canada, when she stopped short. There was a picture of a hill; a graveyard. The sky was clear, and the lonely silhouette of- Silhouette? Dandelion seeds blew past her eyes, and she could picture a photo on one of the gravestones. Her footsteps moved faster.
Things that should have not been in her reach were suddenly in her grasp. When she walked to the top of the hill and looked down, the vision of that day came back to her. A shadow appeared behind her, but Eun Tak had no strength to look back.
“Is this person you, sir? Are you a ghost?”
Her words started to move faster.
“Did you die here then? Is that why I can see you?”
“Can you still see the spirits of the dead?”
“Still? How did you know that I used to see ghosts? Who are you? Are you actually dead? How did you know that I used to see ghosts!”
He had a mouth, but he could not speak. How could he explain? Was he allowed to explain? The Goblin was already regretting everything.
Eun Tak was dizzy. She had lived 10 years looking at that memo, but she couldn’t speak it. It hurt her. Tears fell down, as the name burned her heart.
“Are you Shin Kim?”
How did she know that name? He stared at her.
“Did you come with me here 10 years ago? But why can’t I remember everything? Answer me. Who are you? Why am I not supposed to forget you? Why am I your bride? You’re Shin Kim, aren’t you?”
The scar in her heart seared as she spoke every word. The emptiness in her heart seemed like something that could be filled by the name, Shin Kim. It pained her more than ever. Every time it had rained, every time the first snow had come, and every time she had breathed, it had hurt. She wanted to stop walking in this exhausting nothingness.
“I’m not.”
The Goblin looked at Eun Tak painfully.
“It’s late. Go back to the hotel.”
The man’s short replies made Eun Tak more sad. Maybe she had thought about it wrong. Maybe she had forgotten a person that was supposed to be forgotten.
*
Eun Tak walked helplessly around the place. The day was setting, and bright lights lit up the land. She searched around her head, but there weren’t any lamps that led her the right way. She was searching through the dark. Leaning against a fountain she had found, Eun Tak clenched an autumn leaf in her hand.
‘How could there be sadness that lasts a thousand years? How could there be a love that lasts a thousand years?’
A familiar two words came into her mind.
“Sad love.”
Tears fell down her face. The first snow had come, they had begged to the gods, they had embraced each other. Eun Tak could remember the first snow at the buckwheat field. Memories flashed through her mind, and she didn’t want to lose a single one.
‘What bride am I? The fourth? Fifth? Higher than that?’
‘The first and the last.’
Her legs were already running.
‘What do you think buckwheat flowers mean?’
‘Lovers.’
She was his lover, his first love. Eun Tak ran to a nearby Christmas Shop, and quickly blew out a candle. Her mind was nearly bursting with memories, but she was scared that he might not appear. Memories of her missing him filled her burning heart and she couldn’t wait anymore. Her legs gave in, and she was about to fall to the ground when a hand caught her.
It was the first time in 9 years. He met his first love again in Canada. Their colliding lips were hot, and their tears met each other in grief. Her trembling hands grabbed the man’s coat, and his strong hands grabbed her waist. They were begging to never be apart again.
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