Goblin: The Lonely and the Great God - Chapter 11

The Brightest Moment

He had been fine when she was looking at the menu. But his emotions changed so swiftly, she had no way to catch up to them. The Goblin had suddenly turned cold again; he was confusing Eun Tak more than ever. She didn’t even know if the steak was going through her mouth or nose.

After coming back home, Eun Tak changed into her pyjamas and knocked on the Goblin’s door. She wanted to know the reason behind his coldness. But there was no answer from inside. Eun Tak was starting to feel lost again; she knew that he was inside. Hesitating, she knocked once more.

There was still no reply from inside. Eun Tak sighed and started walking back to her room when the Goblin opened his door for her. 

He had been lying in bed listening to Eun Tak’s movements. He had already repeated the vision of 29-year-old Eun Tak in his head over a thousand times. 

“Pull out the sword for me. Now. Please.”

A shadow appeared on the girl’s face; they had come back to that topic again.

“You didn’t even answer a moment ago, and now what?”

“That’s why I came out to answer you now. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Force myself to believe that I am allowed to decide.”

“You mean what you said earlier? About how you’ve made that decision? What is it? What have you decided on?”

Tension filled the Goblin’s room. Both sides were fighting for the better.

“Don’t ask questions. Just tell me if you will or not.”

“I’m very sorry, but I haven’t finished my research yet.”

“What research?”

“I searched up your name on the internet, but why does nothing come out? It’s as if someone erased everything.”

So she had searched up his name.

“Did you do a background check on me?”

“It was just a check, not a background check. I had something that was annoying me so I thought that maybe I could search it up. You know how you said before that I would hate you a lot if I could see that thing.”

The Goblin looked at the girl with a frown.

“And that thing was a sword. I’ve seen it, but I don’t hate you yet, so I thought maybe there was more to it. Is the reason you’re deleted from the records because you were a sinner? I don’t think I want to pull out your sword if you were a sinner. Did you do something like treason?”

There was a reason she was good at studying, her reasoning was very smart. The Goblin kept his mouth closed, he had nothing to say. Eun Tak didn’t want to talk about the Goblin’s painful past, but she was in a hurry. She needed a reason to stay with the man. 

She had lived perfectly by herself, but why was she trying so hard to be someone to this man? Eun Tak had thought of a few reasons why. The Goblin was someone she had been waiting for since she was young and the Goblin was someone who could be her family. But most of all, she wanted to be with him. A lonely person and a sorrowful person; together, it didn’t seem all that sad. 

The Goblin opened his mouth.

“You’re right.”

If he had never imagined his murderer to be who ever it was, it must have been betrayal.

“My life wasn’t recorded in history; I was too busy trying to stay alive. I lived the best I could, but even my death wasn’t honourable.”

Sadness covered his voice as he looked at Eun Tak. 

“Nothing was going to get better by walking towards the king, but I did. My steps killed innocent lives and my sin has still not been forgiven. I am still being punished. This sword is the punishment.”

So pull out my sword, he asked. Eun Tak felt sad; a place in her heart kept paining her.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too much? I think I’ve had my share of punishments for 900 years.”

“I don’t think it’s a punishment.”

Eun Tak placed her hand on the Goblin’s arm, and a tear dropped from his eyes. It was a tear of desperation.

“The gods wouldn’t have given you such powers as a punishment. If you really were a bad person, the gods would have only created a Goblin. There wouldn’t be a bride who could pull out the sword, if it really was a punishment.”

She reached out her hand and wiped away his tears. 

“I don’t know who the gods are, but you are loved. Truly.”

For the first time, the Goblin wondered if the gods really did love him. He had never been comforted like this before, it was all new to him.

“The treason I was talking about was something like loving the king’s woman. I’m sorry about that.”

“Then could you make me pretty now?”

Eun Tak wiped a tear from her own cheek; she felt so sorry for the man standing in front of her.

“No. But that king is really mean. Did you really think that you were being punished for 900 years? You must’ve been desperate for over 900 years then… You’re so pitiful. I’m crying because it is so sad, but why would you ask me that with empty hands? Don’t you think you’re not trying much?”

“What?”

“you heard me. I know how it feels to be pitiful so I’ll give you a tip. Rather than trying to get empathy, give them something that they really want. Oh, I need to go to my part-time job now.”

“What in the world…”

“Think carefully while I’m at work. What would I really want? This is so sad… You’re even more pitiful than me. I’m going to give all of them a good telling off.”

Eun Tak sniffled and tried to leave, but the Goblin quickly followed behind.

“What is it that you want? Money? A house? Jewels?”

“Would I want that?”

“It’s not that? Then what is it? Is it that thing that I said that I’d do if I needed to?”

“What? Love? Can’t you be a bit more creative? Something like putting love in a jewel-full house that you bought with money.”

She was cold. Eun Tak shooed him away and left for work. 

The Goblin lay on his bed, thinking about everything over again. She had comforted him, cried with him, but she wouldn’t pull out the sword for him. 

‘Please stay happy while I’m at this house.’ 

He remembered what Eun Tak had requested in her announcement. How could he be happy in this state?

“If that is really what she wanted, that’s not good.”

The Goblin closed his eyes and thought of the 29-year-old Eun Tak. She looked so happy. Without him. 

“Over here?! Sir?!”

He became more upset as he thought of Eun Tak smiling at someone else.

*

Winter had come and the streets were cold. The Goblin walked around on the corner of the road. He tried to make it seem that he was taking a walk and not waiting for her, but his eyes kept heading towards the place where the girl was soon to come. He looked at his watch again, she was going to come soon. 

Eun Tak walked down the road wearing a white duffle coat. Earphones were stuck in her ears and she was studying words off a sheet of paper. She was concentrating really hard and wasn’t bothering to look in front of her. The Goblin looked at the girl with worry, what if she got into an accident? But his mouth turned into a smile as soon as he saw her. He stood waiting for her to walk past him when time started to tick slowly again.

Life is walking towards me.

Death is walking towards me.

Without hesitation, life and death is walking towards me.

But this is how it is meant to be.

I feel no sorrow.

This is all I need.

It is all I need.

Eun Tak lifted her head and their eyes met. She quickly put her earphones off and her studying paper back into her bag. With a fast footstep, she walked towards the Goblin. Her light footsteps turned into his heartbeat again. He was still alive.

“What are you doing here?”

Eun Tak smiled, she had been thinking about him at work. She had to pull out the sword now, it was right. 

“I was watching.”

“Watching what?”

“You coming.”

“For that long? I’m a bit touched.”

Her smile became wider and they started their way back to the house. 

“Can you see mine if you watch for that long? My future.”

“No.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m a missing soul. I always thought I was a bit of a waste of space, but I’m starting to become more special. If no one knows my future, my future will be the one I make.”

The Goblin didn’t tell her that he had seen her when she was 29. It had been a future that he had seen from the waiter at the restaurant.

“Don’t worry about me. I won’t always be lonely. I’m a brave Goblin’s bride who has decided to accept her sad destiny.”

She had become a brave Goblin's bride. The Goblin smiled. It was still him who needed to be a bit more braver than before. Eun Tak was still a bit curious about her future; she was still human.

“You’re going to keep growing up like this.”

“Huh?”

“Prettily, like this.”

The Goblin had once told her that he wasn’t looking for a pretty person, but now he was calling her pretty. Eun Tak smiled with happiness as she realised that she was the bride that he had been waiting for, and that she was a pretty person too. 

“How do you know? I might be a bit ugly for a few days.”

“It might be a few months.”

He always had to say something mean like that. Eun Tak ignored him and kept talking.

“When you do that guardian spirit thing? Does the person need to have a certain amount of sadness, sorrow, pain, or something?”

“No. It’s just how I feel that day. But if I had to choose between an adult and a child, I would choose the child. The first person that reached out their hand to me when I was feeling lost, was a child.”

“Oh… Then why did you save my mum, back then? She was an adult.”

“Back then, I was drunk, so I was soft-hearted. Also, the person your mum was begging for, wasn’t herself.”

Eun Tak stopped walking; a tear dropped down her cheek. She usually never cried, but these days, tears just kept falling. But today it wasn’t sad tears; it was happy tears. She had never expected it. The fact that her mother had begged with all her soul. For her.

“That fact that you were the one who came to help her in the time of need… There really must be miracles in the world.”

There must have been much more sad days than happy, but the girl cried with happiness at the obvious wishes a mother should have made. She was lovely. Did she say it was hair stroke? The Goblin pressed down his hand on Eun Tak’s head. They were big and warm hands.

“You’re not supposed to press down a person’s head like that. You stroke it gently like this.”

Eun Tak smiled with tears in her eyes at the Goblin who was trying his best to comfort her. She went on her tiptoes and reached up to stroke his head. The Goblin looked down at her.

“It must be today. The few days when you are ugly.”

He started walking off again. 

The next day, Eun Tak woke up to find an enormous tree in the house. A tree that had been in the garden, had been moved here to be a Christmas tree. Decorations weighed heavy on each branch; a bright, shining star on the top to finish it off. The Goblin had been hanging the last of the decorations when Eun Tak had come downstairs. He showed off his proud smile like a child who wanted to be complimented on their work. 

Eun Tak walked around the tree, gazing at it happily, telling the Goblin how pretty it was, when she suddenly stopped and faced the man.

“I’m sorry for being selfish.”

The Goblin widened his eyes; he hadn’t expected an apology from the girl. Eun Tak told him that she was ready to pull out the sword now. He hadn’t expected that either; the topic of sword-pulling coming out of Eun Tak’s mouth first. 

It had only been a moment; Eun Tak had seen a decorated tree and had said that it was pretty. That was all, but the next day, a huge Christmas tree was sitting in their lounge. She had way too many grateful things to the Goblin already, she didn’t have the heart to ask for anything more. 

“I was really worried that I might get kicked away once I pull it out. Also, it was a bit amusing seeing you so desperate about it. I was also worried you might run off and meet another girl once you get prettier.”

The Goblin just listened to her speak; he sort of knew how she was feeling.

“Why aren’t you denying it?”

“Do I have to?”

“What in the… Never mind. I forgot what kind of person you were. But it doesn’t matter, I’ve already made up my mind. I’ll make you pretty. You’re the one who’s asking me, and from what I learnt, you’re a good person. A good person’s request wouldn’t turn out bad, would it?”

The girl trusted him. Eun Tak had clearly stated that he was a ‘good person,’ but he wasn’t sure whether he could stay that way for much longer. 

He probably couldn’t; lying was one thing; hiding the truth was another. The Goblin wasn’t sure whether Eun Tak would be able to manage the things that would happen after she pulled the sword. He was very worried., but what could he do? He had come too far. Eun Tak pitied him, thanked him, empathised with him, comforted him, and liked him, but he just wanted to die quickly. Before the want to live became bigger. He was one, selfish Goblin, so he smiled in reply to the girl’s question.

“Where do you want to become prettier? In front of this pretty tree?”

“R, right now? Today?”

“Yeah. Let’s just get it done and over with.”

His heart had been ready since yesterday, the day before yesterday, and the week before. The Goblin had asked with all his heart to Eun Tak to pull out his sword. But not today. Not this moment. Not right now. He was worried; for this girl and himself. The Goblin quickly grabbed out his phone and replied to the silent screen. There was a very important phone call, so he couldn’t pull out the sword today.

Eun Tak stared dumbfoundedly at the door the Goblin had just left with his upside-down phone.

The place the Goblin found was the grim reaper’s tea shop. He had been signing papers when the bell rang, indicating the entrance of someone. The grim reaper looked up from his papers and stared at the Goblin. His face was very pale and he didn’t look too well. 

“What’s wrong? Did you die?”

“I’m just practising. She agreed to pull out my sword.”

“Does she know what it means yet?”

“... I couldn’t tell her. I’m just worried; I think she likes me a lot.:”

The grim reaper creased his face in disgust at the Goblin’s serious voice. Was he really worried for the girl or was he just bragging that Eun Tak liked him? 

“Did you come here to laugh or fight?”

“You’re too slow on things. She likes me a lot. The first time she saw me, she said she loved me, and that she wanted to marry me. Do you know how flustered I was because of her? You don’t even know anything. She has no reason to not like me.”

“What do you mean? Have you even realised your age difference? When she goes to university there’s going to be so many handsome, young boys.”

“It’s only 900 years!”

“Why do you keep decreasing your age? You’re 939.”

“I was born early so I’m actually a year younger.”

They ended up laughing. There was nothing to laugh about, but they always ended with laughter. 

“... Should I just keep her away again?"

The Goblin sighed unhappily.

"Isn't it funny? She’s the only one who can give me death, but she keeps making me want to live.”

He had been waiting for death and death had found him. But the moment he had met death he wanted to live. Just a bit more. 

“Don’t be mistaken. You lived quite fine before you met her.”

“Did I? But why can’t I remember anything back then…?”

As if there had been no bright or shining days in all those 900 years, the time right now was the brightest moment of his life. Eun Tak’s smile was brighter than his whole life. 

All those moments became memories. Every memory was as vivid as ever. Eun Tak’s voice whenever she called him. The happy voice, the sad voice, the depressed voice, the excited voice; all of it. But he had to leave. Whatever he tried to do, it would end like that. The only thing he had left to do was die.

“Stop it… Stop calling me… Let me leave…”

He muttered to himself but still her voice rang in his ears. The Goblin had never imagined that the girl who had been crying at the beach would be the same girl that held him back. Life was unimaginable. 

“Shin.”

The Goblin heard the real voice of Eun Tak through his door. He leaned on the door she was standing behind; it had started all over again. His sword rang and the sword pained him. The sword had never given him physical pain. That had become a past tense too. After he met his bride, the pain the sword gave him was unbearable. 

Was it because he had met his bride, or was it because he wanted to live? Pain filled him and he fell to the ground. The Goblin covered his mouth with his hand, scared that Eun Tak might hear his pain. Slowly, the footsteps of the girl grew further away.

    (This is a translated version of "Goblin: The Lonely and the Great God." Written by Eun Sook Kim and Soo Yeon Kim.)